How To Say NO Without Feeling Guilty (Set Boundaries & Stop People Pleasing) | CoDependent No More!

Entrepreneur & Biz / Learning Lessons

Setting Boundaries: How to Say No and STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER without Feeling Guilty! This is how to set boundaries and How To Stop People Pleasing WITHOUT BEING RUDE! Many people fear setting boundaries in their relationships both in life and business (at work) or that they will push people away in the process but this is not true. Do you have “the disease to please”? People pleasing syndrome aka “codependency” refers to a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires meaning they are being codependent.

It’s time to take your power back and be respected to get what you want in life! Self-growth and Personal Development require you to raise your standards, and Learn How to Stop Being a People Pleaser without Feeling Guilty! Watch and Learn How To Stop Saying Yes When You Want To Say No and Teach People How To Treat You, so you can be Codependent No More with this little learning lesson full of tips and tricks I’ve picked up from my own experience as a digital nomad and entrepreneur! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL ‪@bloggingbrandi‬ and hit that little bell icon so you don’t miss an episode! 🔔

https://youtu.be/SohQdB39RFM

Here’s the transcript from the video:

How To Start Saying NO & Stop Being A People Pleasure!

How do you stop saying yes when you really mean to say no I’m sure this happens all the time when people ask you to do things and you really don’t want to do them or you don’t want to commit to them some people kind of get you to say yes or talk you into something and then when it comes down to it you’re like man I wish I wouldn’t have committed to do this or I wish I would have said NO. Now you’re trying to figure out how to get out of it!

I used to be the person who would always wait on everyone else. Pretty much saying yes to everyone! I was the yes chick! But, once I kind of started realizing what I was doing things changed for me! Which is what I wanted to talk to you about today!

What will you accomplish by saying YES vs NO?

What’s your end goal? When I’m trying to figure something out or maybe things aren’t working out the way I want or I want to tell somebody yes or no I always think of what’s the benefit? I hate to say it but I always say what’s the benefit for ME? What’s the value I’m going to get out of this at the end of the day? is it just going to be some peace and happiness in my heart? I’m good with that! Or am I going to get some kind of money? am I going to be making a move that long-term is going to be really good for my business?

End Goal = How YOU can Benefit!

What is it that you’re saying yes to and what is your end goal do they align? This is something that I do subconsciously. It’s not really subconscious I’d actually say I do it consciously because…

I’m constantly thinking:

  • is this person good for me?
  • Will this person or event be helpful for my business?
  • Is this person draining on my business or my time?
  • Is this thing that I’m going to buy worth my money or can I use this money somewhere else?

Saying yes doesn’t just mean to people! You could be saying yes to buying something! Saying YES to Everyone Else Means Saying NO To Yourself!

Planning VS Taking Action!

Are you planning or taking action?

This was something that was really hard for me. I was always planning and had these great ideas about what I’m going to do and one day this is going to happen and one day that’s going to happen. I was always saying well when this “thing” happens then I’ll take action!

>> Learn How To Start ANYTHING in 2024!

Make the most of MINI Moments

I can’t really put this into words any easier than to say that there’s always something you can be doing proactively even if you’re waiting on a video file to upload You can be taking action you can be doing your titles and descriptions, tags. Maybe you add your video to your blog as well so you could go ahead and get that started. Or maybe you have an email that goes out each week you can work on. Or if you’re waiting on hold, in line, etc… (if you have a MINI Moment of free time USE IT and make the most of it). There are so many other things that you can start the process on.

Stay Focused On YOUR End Goals

Whenever you’re talking about trying to get to the next phase of where you’re going and your end goal you really want to be dead-centered and focused on: “What can I be doing to get me there” and “Is what I’m doing in this moment, is this thing that I’m saying yes to or no to detrimental to my business? is it helping me get to the next phase or could I be spending my time in a better way? — That is how my thought process works as an entrepreneur!

Dealing With People Pleasing Syndrome aka Codependency

Okay so this is kind of personal to me I may have shared this a while back but I figured why not go ahead and talk about it. I’m sure some of you also deal with this but maybe you don’t know the term — it’s called codependency! If you’re one of those people who is always trying to make other people happy and you really are trying to figure out why am I not happy?

Asking The Doctor For A Cure

I went through this for the longest time! I actually had to go see this psychiatrist or psychologist (I don’t know what to call them) but I was sitting in their office one day having a mental breakdown! This was a couple years ago. I just vividly remember it because it completely changed my perspective! I looked up the word “Codependency” because the doctor had mentioned it to me.

He said: “You keep telling me about everyone else and all these people but I never hear anything about YOU and what you want! You keep telling me about what everybody else wants and how you’re doing all this stuff to make everybody else happy! Have You ever heard of the term codependency?”

So I started thinking about it, I went home and looked up the word “codependency” and then I never went back to the doctor again.

Learning To Stop Pleasing People

It changed my perspective about what codependency is. Why I was acting the way I was. I mean it was something that was almost engraved in me since I was a child. A bad habit turned mental illness that I didn’t realize I had! I had learned all my codependent tendencies from watching what My parents did, or people that were around me. So I just kind of learned to say yes to people and be a people pleaser!

>> READ Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself – By Melody Beattie

Be Selfish If You Want To Be Successful

I had to kind of I guess you’d say grow some balls and that changed my perspective. Now I will say I’m kind of selfish. You always think other people are working on themselves as much as you’re working on yourself and that is totally not true! Whatever it is people sometimes are really focused on themselves and not on the end goal or the long-term goal. So if you have a big goal in the end that you’re trying to work towards ask yourself: are all these little things that you’re doing sabotaging that or are they putting you somewhere further ahead to where you want to be moving you towards your goals?

Yes Girl to NO Girl Mentality

Another thing is you always think that other people have your best interest at heart especially kind of me like I said with this codependency thing. I’ve gotten better about it but I always thought “Oh everybody’s working towards a happy place and they’re all just wanting to cheer me on and make my business go great” — that’s not exactly true! I learned that the hard way, so I went from being a yes girl to a no girl.

I’m a no girl and like I said I was always planning around other people and their plans and now I actually plan around what I want to have happen. I say you know what I’m trying to do? write a book or get a video out? What are the things that I want to have happen to make that goal a reality? at a certain day and a certain time or within a certain time frame for me to be satisfied and for everything to stay on track? Because there are also other people that are involved in my process so if one thing goes Ary there are all these other little ripples that happen that sometimes people never see!

Be Consistent

You want to be consistent which is one reason why I even said hey I want to be a better person I’m going to start posting more often more frequently: one to get better faster even at my time because I’m trying to get faster at my time on recording not to be quick just to be better and more normal when I’m talking to the camera because I really want it to feel more as if I’m talking to a person versus just speaking to thin air. Even though I am speaking to thin air most of the time when I really wish that we were talking face to face. although we kind of are but I wish we were really talking face-to-face. Consistency matters either way, so I’m trying to post more frequently!

Ongoing Updates

If you haven’t subscribed to my YouTube Channel I share tons of resources about business branding social media and how you can make all of these things work in one big circle for your business.

So I figured I’d share some business updates too what am I working on this week organization I’m trying to get organized this week I’ve been working on that but I really have been trying to get a system together.

I’ve been recording on the road and had some prescheduled content but I’ve been gone for about half the month to San Diego, CA. I flew across the country on a one-way flight and then drove 2,000 miles back across the country in the Smart Car I bought! It’s a whole other story!

About My Book…

But I’ve been focusing on my end goal now, which is my book. I have a book I mentioned it long time ago and I said it would be out I think in January or February but I finally have it out now. I hate that I didn’t show up to get it out sooner or on time, but It’s done now! It’s about branding. I’ve been sharing more details as they’ve unfolded. I have a lot being planned behind the scenes and people that I’m talking to and working with and so much going on! Yet, I’m trying to get back to all my emails that I’ve been kind of distant from since being gone, working on my book, and the BIG Life-Changing Adventure I went on!

What are your Thoughts?

Now you know how to say no instead of yes! When you’re really saying yes but you mean no! I’m teaching you how to say no! Hopefully, this gives you some perspective about what helps me do my thing. I want to hear what your end goal is? What are you working on? Are you trying to sell a product or are you trying to sell a service? Do you already sell a product or service? Put that in the comments below and make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel who knows I might be featuring you in one of my next videos answering your your questions. I will see you in the next video thanks for watching!

ABOUT ME:

If we haven’t officially met Hi, I’m Blogging Brandi, an EX-Corporate Kool-Aid Drinker, born to be blogger, creator, Entrepreneur, and Digital Nomad who LOVES RV Living, since it keeps me close to Nature! All though you can catch me from time to time on an airplane, in a hotel, Airbnb, as I can WORK FROM ANYWHERE not just my RV. I’m also an all-natural, introverted, God Fearing, Rescue Dog Mom, but most importantly a Writer and Creator! Plus, you might not know I have a Finance Degree and am licensed in Master Cosmetology! I believe you can have many passions, create multiple streams of income, and don’t have to conform to the norm!

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