How To Stop Letting People Take Advantage of You (& Take Back Your Time)
Feeling used, overwhelmed, or like people just keep taking advantage of your time and energy?
Whether itās your boss, friends, family, or even your own bad habitsāsometimes the hardest thing to do is say no and start putting yourself first.
In this post, Iām sharing what finally made me say enough is enough.
From corporate burnout and people-pleasing to working on everyone elseās dream but my own, I had to learn the hard way how to stop letting people take advantage of meāand start taking back my time, peace, and purpose.
I was a pushover, and that was the #1 reason people kept using me.
But that ends now.
If youāve ever felt stuck in a 9 to 5, afraid to start your business, or constantly drained by toxic people and obligations…
š This is your reminder: You donāt owe everyone your time.
Letās talk about:
- How to recognize when youāre being used or manipulated
- Why burnout and resentment often come from a lack of boundaries
- How to stop making excuses and start showing up for yourself
- Why saying no is actually the key to building the life and business you want
Are you a people pleaser?
This post is packed with real-life experience and tactical tips based on science to help you stop letting people take advantage of youāso you can reclaim your time, energy, and power.
Whatās Holding You Back From Starting?
I was sitting here thinking today… You know, I try to watch a lot of my favorite people and get motivation about this. So I figured ā itās something that many of you bring up to me, and it’s something that I struggle with as well:
- What should I talk about?
- How do I start?
- Whatās holding me back?
Whether it’s a job that you’re in that you don’t want to be in, or whether it’s a business that you just startedā¦ maybe you’re getting started on YouTube and you’re not sure what the next moves are? Or it’s just something you want to do, and you’re wondering if you could ever make money at it?
Starting By Accident (But Not Really)
You know, I started out kind of by accident ā falling into making videos. And in the beginning, my NEW YouTube channel really had not taken off. I probably had 200 subscribers (after the first YEAR of making videos), which I get for some of you is probably more than you have.
And itās funny, because Iām actually really good on video, and I have a ton of video content that has never been published.
But I keep saying to myself:
āWhy are you not starting? Why are you not putting it out there?ā
>> Learn: How YouTube Changed My Life With Less Than 1000 Subscribers
I find myself making excuses. And whatās funny is, I always tell other people, āOh, you know, thatās just an excuse.ā But in reality, I make a lot of my own excuses.
Some of it, I want to say, is because of other people ā and really it is. But it’s also because Iāve let them create either tasks or problems in my life.
Teach People How to Treat You
If you put your foot down and you teach people:
- One: how to treat you
- Two: how to prioritize your time
It will change things.
Before, I just kind of let people say and do whatever, and I would go along with it. Like, if they wanted to change plans…
I remember I had a boss one time, and I would do things one way, and then he would come back and make me do it a completely different way ā the same thing I just did. And Iād spend hours, sometimes days, on these projects… and he had no care in the world.
But I knew I was doing something completely inefficient and a waste of my time. And as a person, a human being, itās like:
āWhy am I wasting my time working for you or doing something for you… and you don’t even care?ā
>> Learn: How To Say NO Without Feeling Guilty: Set Boundaries, Stop People Pleasing & Codependency
Time vs. Money (Choose One)
So Iāve started trying to figure that out with my own time. Iāve even had to turn down certain jobs or clients because I knew it would take more of my time.
Once I get into some of their businesses, Iāll see that it needs a lot more work ā and a lot of people just arenāt willing to put in the time (or money) to make something better.
And a lot of times itās just time. It doesnāt have to be money.
But the key is:
If you say āI donāt have the timeā,
then youād better have the money ā
so that somebody else can make their time available to make your dream a reality.
So you either have time or you have money ā thatās my thought on it.
Iāve Been Holding Myself Back
Itās really about getting started.
I’m trying not to make any more excuses.
I want to do more live videos.
I want to be putting videos out more often.
But Iāve kind of put the brakes on my business and stepped back and said,
āYou know, Iām not going to put all my content out thereā¦ā
But really… it hurt me in the end.
When Clients Donāt Value You
I had this client ā and it really pisses me off, honestly ā that I worked for them for a while. And there were a lot of things, for a long time, that I did for them for free just because I really cared about them and believed in what I could do.
And still to this day, when I hear them say things like:
āWell, you know, I could let you go and get someone elseā¦ā
I was thinking ā thatās why theyāre just collecting money up front from you.
And Iām not collecting money up front from you because I actually know what Iām doing ā and Iām putting things in place for you to have something long-term.
Iām starting to see a lot of these āconsultantsā saying:
āI provide my servicesā¦ā which is fine.
I provide services too.
Itās how you do it.
When you’re going in and telling people:
āPay me all this money up front and Iām going to make you all these promisesā¦ā
I just feel likeā¦ many are unable to come up with those HUGE results; itās just a bunch of random snapshots or big talk they use to bait you into buying from them.
Letās be real:
We can all put up a website.
Anyone can look as ābigā as they want.
Iāve tried to be really genuine in myself and the things that I have put out there to represent myself.
>> Learn: How I Started A Very Much Loved Successful Business Blog (& You Can Too)
The Struggle Behind the Scenes
I am very blessed.
I do live a very blessed lifestyle.
But I try not to say thatās what life is about…
Because there are a lot of ugly struggles that go on throughout my week.
Even right now ā Iām so, so pissed that Iāve let a lot of activities (both personal and business) get in the way of my happiness and my success.
I was just looking back like:
āManā¦ itās been a year since I started making videos, and Iām not where I want to be. Somethingās got to change.ā
Where Are You Right Now?
Ask yourself:
- Are you somewhere you donāt want to be?
- Are you with someone you donāt want to be with?
- Are you with an employer that just sucks?
What if youāre an employee and you donāt want to be there?
Or what if youāve lost your passion for your business?
It really takes a ripple effect on:
- Your employees
- Your business
- And yourself
If you don’t think about those things and put yourself in someone else’s shoes…
Life Updates: RVs, Accidents, and Reality
So, an update of the things I have going on…
I run two companies ā my company, and another company where we sell a product. Iāll probably mention that at some point. If youāve seen my videos, youāve probably picked it out. But Iām sometimes shy, just like you.
Oh my gosh…
My RV has been the RV From Hell since the beginning of last year.
I went through a really bad car accident ā a lot of you donāt know that.
I was getting 12 shots in my back every other week…
Going to the doctor three times a week.
It just got really hard for me to make videos.
I was just really depressed.
Itās taken a long time to come back from that.
But I donāt want you to get depressed.
Donāt Let Others Control Your Life
Don’t let other people ā or their priorities ā get in the way of what you want.
There is another piece of the puzzle.
There is a positive side to all of it.
And me at times, maybe I donāt make videos because Iām not happy ā maybe itās because Iām not where I wanted to be. And I used to let other people control that.
When I left Corporate America, I left because I was tired of other people controlling that.
If you want a change,
You have to BE the change.
Cry If You Want To
Iām such a crybaby.
I cry all the time.
- Happy things
- Sad things
- Other peopleās things
Sometimes things just tear me up; it is hard to watch unfold on the news and social media.
But I’m here to tell you:
You can cry if you want to!
I remember my boss was telling me I couldn’t cry, and look, I’m crying now, and I’m totally going to put this out on my video, and I don’t care! I hope they watch it one day — watching me cry — while I’m making money off them watching my video! š š š° šø š
PS If you can’t tell, I hate Corporate America, just because of how they made me feel, and they wouldn’t let me be myself, and I was forced to be in some shell!
RV having Problems? YES!
Even when out of corporate America, they held me back!
Some of the largest RV companies in America have made my life a living hell.
Going through the RV issuesā¦
Another wreckā¦
Dealing with horrible customer serviceā¦
I dropped my RV off four weeks ago. I still donāt have it.
They took three months one time to get it back to me!
I pay for it.
I pay for insurance.
I pay the monthly payment on it.
And by the time I use it, it costs even more.
It’s just the run around you just get tired of, plus I’m paying for something I never get to use!
Just Start. For Real.
If you want to get started ā you have to stop letting other peopleās priorities get in the way of yours.
Ask yourself:
Are the things Iām doing getting me one step closer to where I want to be?
If you’re trying to do YouTube, are you posting videos?
If you’re trying to blog, are you actually publishing blog posts?
Stop waiting. Stop planning forever. Start Taking ACTION!
Final Thoughts
One thing that I feel like a lot of people do is say “oh, I’m going to wait or I’ll do it all at one time” — they’re like always planning, which I am also guilty of planning vs executing on my plans at times…
Iāve realized a game-changer for me was hiring people and outsourcing tasks.
Because trying to do it all by myself wasnāt working.
Or even investing in automation systems, services, etc… hiring help could also mean paying for a system or service to help automate processes.
Training people or learning how to use new systems is the hardest part. But still ā itās necessary.
Test, Fail, Learn, Grow, Repeat (see what works…)
Some people say quantity over quality, while others value quality over quantity.
If you want to get started on something, just start by putting yourself out there and doing what you really do the best — like how I said I wanted to start making more YouTube Videos (or writing more blog posts)
Start by putting videos out way more often.
I donāt care if you put out a video every day for a month and itās a shitty video.
At the end of 30 days?
It wonāt be shitty anymore.
I want to be myself.
I donāt want to be fake.
If I cry, I cry. If I donāt, I donāt.
You’re a real person.
Iām a real person.
Why should we have to hide that? Why can’t I be myself?
Why Iāll Never Go Back to Corporate
Especially if I work for you at a corporation…
- Why canāt I check a little personal email here or there?
- Why canāt I get on my phone and make a quick call?
I don’t want to be on your time schedule.
The world doesnāt have to operate on a 9 to 5 ā because when it does, it actually becomes counterproductive.
If you’re working a 9 to 5, youāre just stuck in that time schedule because itās what everyone else is doing.
You have to pave your own way.
You have to decide how YOU want to go about this.
Itās really up to YOU to pave your own path ā not follow what someone else has mapped out for you.
Whether thatās college, a corporate job, or starting your own business…
It depends on what YOU want.
And thatās my advice… š
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And if you have questions about starting on social media or launching your business, I have some free guides to help you, too.
Check out BLABoss ā where you can find tons of free resources to help you brand your business, blog your passion, and build a life you love.
š Drop your questions in the comments section!
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ABOUT ME:
If we havenāt officially met, Hey Iām Blogging Brandi An EX-Corporate Kool-Aid Drinker, born to be Blogger, Creator, Female Digital Nomad & Entrepreneur who LOVES RV Living! (oh and Sharing My Advice On YouTube!) Plus, I’m the creator of RVersity, my university for RVers & the name of my other YouTube channel! Iāve also been a licensed cosmetologist for over 17+ years and Graduated From College as a Finance Majorā¦ But I decided to quit my job, sell everything to start my own business (and if youāve seen my story then ya know why I live in an RV aka how I ended up becoming a digital nomad or should I say a ānomadic entrepreneurā)! Now I help others who want to follow in my footstepsā¦
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This video was originally posted on my old Blogging Brandi content
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